[聖誕節]Minecraft---聖誕之夜200字作文
夜,深了
古老鐘樓處傳來悠揚的鐘聲
是誰讓古老的鐘樓再次響起?
十二點了!
殭屍推開陳舊的門
骷髏爬上高高的樓梯
苦力怕炸開了鐵製的柵欄
末影人敲響了古樓的鐘
今天是元旦
是誰敲響了史蒂夫的門?
放下禮物飛快的逃走了?
遠處
隱隱有一隻末影人的身影
史蒂夫拆開了禮物
而裏面露出的卻是一隻凋零的頭
史蒂夫無意中啟動了凋零風暴
將幾千萬人的生命推向了深淵!
風暴呼嘯着將夢中的人們驚醒
大家都知道
災難來了
遠處的末影人譏笑着
聆聽着遙遠的古樓傳來的悠揚鐘聲……
新年就要來了……
七年級:藍一週
點評:文章內容新穎,結構合理,流暢連貫,自然通達,細節描寫頗具匠心。極富功底;全文眉目清晰,生動緊湊,趣味性強;層次清晰,語句流暢。
美中不足的是:本次徵文主題為"聖誕",文中"元旦""新年"等詞的使用不太合適。
作者需認清寫作的重點,並圍繞重點進行合理的想象,整體不錯,繼續加油吧~
點評老師:蘇璐璐
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