[圣诞节]Minecraft---圣诞之夜200字作文
夜,深了
古老钟楼处传来悠扬的钟声
是谁让古老的钟楼再次响起?
十二点了!
僵尸推开陈旧的门
骷髅爬上高高的楼梯
苦力怕炸开了铁制的栅栏
末影人敲响了古楼的钟
今天是元旦
是谁敲响了史蒂夫的门?
放下礼物飞快的逃走了?
远处
隐隐有一只末影人的身影
史蒂夫拆开了礼物
而里面露出的却是一只凋零的头
史蒂夫无意中启动了凋零风暴
将几千万人的生命推向了深渊!
风暴呼啸着将梦中的人们惊醒
大家都知道
灾难来了
远处的末影人讥笑着
聆听着遥远的古楼传来的悠扬钟声……
新年就要来了……
七年级:蓝一周
点评:文章内容新颖,结构合理,流畅连贯,自然通达,细节描写颇具匠心。极富功底;全文眉目清晰,生动紧凑,趣味性强;层次清晰,语句流畅。
美中不足的是:本次征文主题为"圣诞",文中"元旦""新年"等词的使用不太合适。
作者需认清写作的重点,并围绕重点进行合理的想象,整体不错,继续加油吧~
点评老师:苏璐璐
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